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Matrimonial
Lifestyle
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Todays Funny Quotations

""Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife."" .....Groucho Marx

""Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes." " .....Oscar Wilde

""Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." " .....Albert Einstein

""He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants."" .....Chuck Tanner

""Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."" .....

"Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours" .....M. Berle

"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet" .....Mark Twain

""A rich man's joke is always funny."" .....Anonymous.

"The man that runs away lives to die another day" .....A. E. Housman (A Shropshire Lad, 1896)

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button." .....Sam Levenson

"Death was Nature's way of telling you to slow down. " .....Terry Pratchett (Strata, 1981)

"Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?" .....

"Why attack God? He may be as miserable as we are. " .....Erik Satie

"In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. " .....Joey Adams

"Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything" .....Paris Hilton

" If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog" .....Harry S. Truman

"Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. " .....Shelley Winters

""People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,"" .....Calvin

"I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar" .....

"Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!" .....


 
 

   
 
 
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